Archive for the ‘How Do You Jerk Off?’ Category

BEAT YER MEAT?

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

Hey Guys- Here are a few interesting stroke moments from some of our videos, Hunter and I often have intense conversations about the oddest things, this week it was about masturbation and I said everybody must masturbate, right? And he said, I don’t know about that, I said CUM ON Hunter 90% of the population jerks-off and the other 10% lie about it! We were wondering how often guys must be jerking off in the world and what a waste of cum that is, lol. I bet in Boston alone people waste thousands of gallons of baby batter, each and every day. Chances are, no matter where you are right now as you read this, at home, office, church, the sidewalk, any place u are RIGHT NOW someone stroked one out there! It’s true think about it; in the office after hours, at the bathroom at work, I mean come on you know YOU HAVE, YES YOU READING this, you’ve jerked off in your MOM’S bathroom..Ughhhh! The humanity! Wow just think; every day and every night jizz is wasted on sheets, towels, tissue, cum rags, carpets, underwear, t-shirts, sox. The poor little sperms are sopped up, tossed out, washed away or flushed. It’s sad that this precious baby batter is literally tossed away, tisk tisk, such a shame that the knuckle children of our generation are taken for granted. When you think about it, if there are billions of men on the earth jerking off every day, and millions of little sperm in each ejaculation the numbers are staggering! Compound that number by every city on earth and you have enough sperm to fill oceans. Just think of it; an ocean of cum! Yes this is the stuff we discuss here at home, lol. Are you a chronic masturbator? A captain of masturbation? Are you a mid-night stoker, or a day time diddler? Do you slap the monkey every chance you get? Do you choke the chicken all over town? Do you leave your poor little baby batter on the bathroom floor of a truck stop? Tell us about your stroke stories. Where is the strangest or hottest place you’ve ever choked your chicken? Um yes we had to share some of these pearls of wisdom with you guys, lol. Send us your masturbation stories to ColeAndHunter@MaverickMen.com.

Okay here we go:
Punching the Clown, Jerkin the Gherkin, Slapping the Sausage, Beating the Bishop, Burping the Worm, Cleaning the Pipes, Fist Humping, Devil’s Handshake, Draining the Vein, Freeing Willy, Answering the Bone Phone, Dishonorable Discharge, Five Against One, Knuckle Shuffling Your Piss Pump, Paddle the Pickle, Polishing the Rocket, Pulling the Taffy, Punching The Munchkin, Rounding Up the Tadpoles, Sending Out the Troops, Spreading the Mayo, Staff Meeting, Stall Clapping, Taping the Hog, Throwing Off a Batch, Tickling Elmo, Tugging Your Tube Steak, And my favorite “Dropping Stomach Pancakes”.

We think it’s only fair to share these female terms as well. We LOVE our lady fans! Women have some very interesting metaphors for masturbating:

Feeding the Cat, Double-clicking the Mouse, Pearl Fishing, Checking for Squirrels, Clam Bake for One, Airing the Orchid, Paddling the Pink Canoe, Tiptoeing Through the Tulips, Scrambling the Omelet, Scratching the Record, Rubbing the Almond.

Cole and Hunter